Being 'Plus Size.'
I've been sat wondering whether to write this or not, but I've decided to do it. Because who knows someone could be going through the exact same thing I am going through. Plus, it helps to get it out of my head.
I've been sat typing and deleting, re-typing and re-wording everything that I have in my mind but find difficult to bring to the keyboard. It's a hard subject for me, but something I'm really, really passionate about, and I see myself as to be a body confidence advocate - and the last thing I would want is someone to feel the same way I do about my body.
The term 'Plus Size.'
Plus Size. Fat. Obese. Overweight. Call it whatever you want, but in some way shape or form if you're over a size 12 (or a size medium) you're considered a 'Plus Size' person.
I don't like the term, and I've never wanted to resort to telling myself that I am a 'plus size' woman, because what kind of derogatory term is that to call yourself? People in the media use it as a bad way to describe thicker women, especially in the fashion world where it's seen strange to see plus-size models on the runway. It's wrong. I hate it, and I hate the way the media has made me feel about my body. But it's not just the media that has made me feel this way.
My 'Plus Size' Story.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am the most confident, uplifting and a helpful person towards other people and the way they see themselves. I appreciate seeing my girls sending me a photo of them looking absolutely out of this world because I want them to feel confident in themselves, and it's an amazing feeling knowing that I can help them towards feeling somewhat happier about themselves. So I try to do it.
But little do people know I am unbelievably insecure. I have things that I hate to see in the mirror, and over time my body has changed to be something that is considered to be of 'Plus Size' material. I'm not going to bring clothes size into this because that's something that I think doesn't come into the way you feel about yourself; because really you shouldn't care so much about numbers on clothes racks in Topshop or H&M or New Look. It's irrelevant. You shouldn't link your thoughts and feelings towards your body to the way your clothes fit you.
But anyway, I can't blame the way my body has changed solely on how much food I've eaten in the past and how little exercise I do because in fact I do eat healthily, and I do exercise. I played netball for 3 years and still now even try and squeeze in the Gym or Zumba whenever I can. But there is something I can blame it on that people often forget can affect peoples body types / sizes. GENES, PEOPLE. Believe it or not, there are other ways people can gain weight other than eating shitty junk food. (Such as Birth Control. We don't want to get pregnant so the price we pay for that is gaining excess water retention. Brilliant.)
My mum isn't fat, in no way would I ever call her fat, and neither is my sister and aunty and grandma ect ect...But they are all classed as more thicker woman. Thick thighs, large breasts, wide hips - everything that my mum got given from her genes were passed to me and my sister. It sucks sometimes, especially when I'm trying to shop for clothes and I can't fit my jean waistbands around my waist because of my wide hips and breasts - but it was what was given to me. A half of my amazing, beautiful mother is mixed together with half of my handsome, fairly large dad to make me - an almost copy of them both. And I think that's beautiful.
Yes, I have wide hips, yes I have thick thighs, yes, I have a hour-glass figure where some parts of my body are not as proportioned to other parts. Yes, whenever I look down at my phone I have a hefty double chin (which is also part of genetics: believe it or not) but it's what makes me, me. For the past few days I would sit and stare at myself in the mirror and think: Do I see a confident woman in the mirror or a woman who's scared to find the confidence in herself? And there's a quote by Ashley Graham (also a body confidence advocate) who said: 'This is a movement for any woman. It shouldn't matter what size you are.'
I'm also not saying that men can't be confident with themselves since I have met multiple men over my lifetime that have felt that they can't reach the body standards that the media deploys into our society - and that's sad. It's just sad that us humans were given this body from the day we were born, and we want to change and manipulate it and change it so we feel more confident, more happy and more at one with the way we are.
Overall.
The point that I'm trying to get across is, I have met multiple of women over my youth that have smaller frames than me and are absolutely amazing, and I have met women who are bigger than me and are just as equally amazing. Just because we have different body types, different body masses, different metabolisms, doesn't mean we aren't worthy of someone's approval. Whether it be from the opposite sex, from someone you wish to impress - anyone. Your body is not an ornament, it is a tool and an instrument to be used for good. And in my opinion, that's fucking amazing.
(I'm going to attach a few pictures of how my body has switched over a few years to put into perspective of how drastically bodies can change (from 13 - almost 18.) Just to show that yes women's bodies change, and we don't have any control over it. So, deal with it :)
Stay happy
-E xo
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I love this! Needs to go viral.
ReplyDeleteThank you! x
DeleteI often scroll through Instagram and came across a photograph of a truly stunning young woman. I thought wow, she’s attractive. That woman was you. I didn’t see a slim woman, an average woman, a “plus size” woman, all I saw was a beautiful woman, beautiful enough to make me click on her picture.
ReplyDeleteThen I read your blog and could see from your few short paragraphs that whilst you were attractive on the outside, that there is even more beauty glowing from within.
If ever you want some stunning portraits doing, completely free of charge, I’m sure you will find me as I am in the same city as you :-)
Merry Christmas
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