What I've Learnt About Relationships: From an 18 Year Old’s Perspective
To any teenager that is possibly going through a heartbreak and is eating Ben and Jerry's in front of an over-played and emotionally demoralising rom-com right now, this might help you.
You see, I haven't had the best luck with the opposite sex. I've met a few arseholes in my life, a few that I have trusted and they've completely disrespected me and my private self, as well as been cheated on a couple of times, eight times in fact (I was young and in love so give me a break, I know now that one mistake can be forgiven but twice is a red flag), and just left behind because that particular person wasn't in love with me anymore. Which is fine. I'm fine with that. But the emotional damage which comes after that is harrowing. Which, is evident, as I have not opened myself up fully to guys I have met and 'talked to' in that way, due to the emotional conflict and the bad luck I've had in relationships in the past.
I'd say in 2017, I had this mindset that I didn't want a boyfriend. That every guy that I would come into contact with was the devil in human form and were out to get me in every possible way. But a year later I've learnt that that's not my fault. Things just don't work out and people fall out of love and people cheat and lie and disrespect you, but it doesn't mean you aren't worthy of someone.
The truth is I really want a boyfriend. Badly. I've finally come to the conclusion about my blurry, confusing abyss of a mind that I do want someone who loves me and that I love back, but it's just finding the right one that's difficult.
I'd say in 2017, I had this mindset that I didn't want a boyfriend. That every guy that I would come into contact with was the devil in human form and were out to get me in every possible way. But a year later I've learnt that that's not my fault. Things just don't work out and people fall out of love and people cheat and lie and disrespect you, but it doesn't mean you aren't worthy of someone.
The truth is I really want a boyfriend. Badly. I've finally come to the conclusion about my blurry, confusing abyss of a mind that I do want someone who loves me and that I love back, but it's just finding the right one that's difficult.
People say 'be patient, the right one will come,' and 'you have your entire life for a boyfriend.' Yes, both true. But there's nothing more romantic than a young, innocent love. The one where you meet each other's parents and it's a day you remember because the nerves take over your body, and how badly you wanted to impress their parents because you care about them and what their family think of you as a person. Or when you can just spend all day in front of the TV basking in each others company, laughing and joking and making memories...
Sadly, a lot of people forget about that in relationships. And they just remember the arguments, jealousy, lack of loyalty, ignorant messages, missed calls, stalking on Snapchat at every given time of day to see who they're with, what they're doing, and why they aren't talking to you as quickly as you want them to. Because - I'm going to completely contradict myself here - some people have lives, and can't reply to their boyfriend or girlfriend at every minute of every hour of every single day, it becomes repetitive. And I think that's where I go wrong in trying to find a boyfriend; I'm way too laid back.
I don't care if you're out with your friends as long as you have fun, I don't mind if you don't message me back as long as there's a reason. And if you wanna break up? Fine with me. Just give me a reason as to why so I can reflect on it like I've done in the past and can be ready for a new one in a few years to come. Because I do love men. I do. But I hate the fact that I'm ready for one and no man seems to want me. That's the sad part.
Sadly, a lot of people forget about that in relationships. And they just remember the arguments, jealousy, lack of loyalty, ignorant messages, missed calls, stalking on Snapchat at every given time of day to see who they're with, what they're doing, and why they aren't talking to you as quickly as you want them to. Because - I'm going to completely contradict myself here - some people have lives, and can't reply to their boyfriend or girlfriend at every minute of every hour of every single day, it becomes repetitive. And I think that's where I go wrong in trying to find a boyfriend; I'm way too laid back.
I don't care if you're out with your friends as long as you have fun, I don't mind if you don't message me back as long as there's a reason. And if you wanna break up? Fine with me. Just give me a reason as to why so I can reflect on it like I've done in the past and can be ready for a new one in a few years to come. Because I do love men. I do. But I hate the fact that I'm ready for one and no man seems to want me. That's the sad part.
So, to anyone who is wanting a relationship but can't seem to find one. Don't look for one. The best things that happen in life are often unexpected, adventurous and interesting. Instead, go on a girls holiday and keep a tally chart on how many guys you get with, hold your friend's hair back after she's puking in the toilet of her 18th birthday, laugh at any given compliment men/women give to you but don't take it too seriously. People sometimes say things they don't mean so you can open up...And sadly I've learnt that the hard way. And it's a cruel way to get people to show you their true selves. Live your teenage lives the way you want it, and whether that's with a boyfriend/girlfriend or not you can still enjoy life to the full, some people more than others.
What I've learnt from relationships is that I don't need one (at this moment.) I'm enjoying my college life, trying to get through A-Levels, enjoying every one of my girls' 18th birthdays to the point where I cant remember it the next morning, and enjoying one-ended compliments from guys that I don't really follow through with.
And if you're recovering from a break-up right now, you'll get through it. They're hard, so difficult in fact. But it gets better, and with time you will probably re-read this in a few months to come and think 'why was I so upset over this person when they had no idea how upset I actually was?' I did the exact same thing, and now I'm living my best life with my friends, going to Magaluf this summer (queue the tally chart ;) ) and just taking one day at a time. Because it's the exact same with relationships - just take each day at a time, don't rush, and enjoy it.
Trust me!
Peace xo
-E
Very good read, this view is exactly what I think tbh, and it's put very well, you are very pretty and you will find someone one day everyone does.
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