What it Really Means to Love your Body.

'What does it really mean to love your body?'

I guess you could say I've asked myself this question ever since the age of twelve when I finally had to purchase a god forbidden padded bra, or when my hips enlarged to the point where the pyjama bottoms I used to snuggle comfortably in would now not go past my hips. All of this happened when I was twelve years old. Twelve. Years. Old. And ever since then my body has shaped, altered and changed and I've tried hard to try and love it to the best that I can. But no one understands how hard it is to walk into a crowded room and automatically think that everyone looking at you is thinking about how 'fat' or how 'skinny' you are. Because fat-shaming and skinny-shaming are as bad as each other, and I don't care how 'biased' I may be because I'm a size 14/16, skinny-shaming is just as degrading as fat-shaming. Period.

Now, over the years I've been a size 12 top and bottom, a size 14 top and bottom, and now sitting at a comfortable size 14 top and size 16 bottom, I have to say I've finally come to the realization that this body is my body and it has carried me through heartbreaks, break-ups, bullying, endless nights of staying up to study for my A-Levels, and netball tournaments in and out of school. I have counted calories, I have eaten one meal and tried to make that last me a full day in hopes that I lose six pounds, I have bought a scale for my bathroom at Uni to feed my addiction of weighing myself and finally come to the conclusion that it's NOT HEALTHY!!!

Weighing yourself every day is not healthy, eating one meal a day is not healthy, not having a weekend where you don't eat a McDonalds and Dominos in one day is not healthy because we need that to survive and feed our hunger. I have been on a low-fat low-carb diet since January and I have to say without the binging of certain foods on the weekend I wouldn't be able to continue it throughout the week. Because, we, as humans, need stuff like that to keep us going.

Whether you're a size 10 or a size 18 your body is your body and you will look after it however you want, and whoever wants to comment on it you have the right to tell them to fuck off because it's not their body, as they're not the ones looking after it, you are. And that's all that matters.

And I'm writing this blog post to open a lot of people's eyes to the fact that there are different bodies out there opposed to the societal definition of a body; consisting of the usual hourglass, no cellulite, no stretch marks, perky breasts, and a big bum. Literally no fault on their body whatsoever. The 'perfect body.' Because I've had boys call me fat, and I've had girls (who I used to cry on the phone too because I used to look in the mirror day in and day out and see myself bigger than what I was) call me fat. And I just want to show these people that yes, I may be a lot curvier or have larger body proportions in comparison to a lot of girls, but I am in no way, shape, or form, fat.

I then asked some other girls, ranging from different dress and body types, for what their meaning on body image is. And here are a few of the amazing responses I got:

'I would say loving my body means embracing every flaw I have.

I used to get so embarrassed about any kind of stretch mark but now

I look at them and think, these literally define who I am.' 

- Hannah

'Loving your body means acceptance. Even if that

means lying to yourself for a while that

you're happy with yourself, I think the connection between your body

and the positive connotations is a healthy way of slowly

programming your mind to believe you are everything

you are telling yourself.'

- Megan

'Loving your body is looking

after it, and making sure you remind yourself

that it's just 'yours,' and you don't need to compare it

to anyone else's!'

- Amy

'Loving my body means feeling comfortable at

my best and my worst. It means that even when

I feel like I'm not beautiful, I'm still

in the same body that I sometimes view

as beautiful!'

- Emma

'I got called anorexic all the way through school

despite having no evidence of an

eating disorder and it made me hate

the way I looked and how skinny I am. But I've

realized recently that I'm just a naturally slim

person, and no amount of eating 5 days a meal

will change it.'

- Sally

'When you love your body, it shines through in

your confidence, blurring out any

possible imperfections you may think

you have. You really have to love

yourself before life, or others, can fully

love you too, we all need to!'

- Rianna

'Everyone has different ways of feeling

 confident in their body and the way they

look, but for me, makeup can be a way of expressing

myself, and allowing me to feel confident in

myself, and my body.'

- Alicia

'You should be able to have enough confidence

and feel beautiful from within,

no matter what shape or size you are.

Regardless of what society deems

'beautiful!'

- Jaya

'It should be loving all that comes with it. 

I can love how I look, without

comparing myself in a negative way.

I can look at something I don't

have, that someone else might,

and love that.'

- Rachel

And looking at these amazing responses from some beautiful women about my question 'What does it really mean to love your body?,' I am so thankful to write about not only my own experiences of body image, but having the opportunity to write about other people's, as I think it's important in showing a diversity of different sizes, shapes, ages, and ethnicities. It shows a large variation of girls, no matter how they may look, all fighting a battle in their head that their body is something that they sometimes love, or sometimes hate, day in and day out. Whether it looks good in the mirror, whether that top compliments their shape, whether those jeans make their bum look too 'big,' or too 'flat,' or whether the smallest break out of acne can cause them to feel so shit about themselves, because it's deemed 'imperfect.'

And I say this with a massive love to every single girl who has cried over how she looks, stepped on the scales and didn't like what she saw, has been catcalled, name-called, ridiculed or mocked because of their cellulite, thighs, stretch marks, back fat, arm fat, slim physique, or are told that they should 'eat more,' 'eat less,' 'get a salad,' 'have a burger,' - every single one of you are beautiful in your own way, and no one should tell you otherwise that having a double chin, a rounder face, a slimmer body or an 'up-and-down' figure is 'not beautiful.' Because, a year ago, I used to judge so many people for what they used to wear, what they looked like, and how they presented themselves. But now, a year later, I sometimes find myself walking down a road and glancing at other people's appearances and now seeing the best features of them, rather than the 'imperfect,' 'weird,' or 'different.' Because there is no such thing. And I can't believe it's taken me a year to realize that - but I'm glad I've realized it now.

Thank you to the lovely, amazing girls that have sent me a contribution about what they think about their body, some of which I've had to cut down (even though I tried to summarise as much as I could in one caption!) despite having so many thoughtful, insightful comments to which opened my eyes to how some people see the overall theme of body image, and how they perceive their own initial bodies.

My last point for this post will be to make sure to ALWAYS be kind to everyone, whether man or women, and always compliment these people on their appearance, personality, traits, character... Because, they see what you see as interesting or pretty or beautiful as 'ugly' or 'disgusting' and 'weird.' People always see the worst in themselves, which is why everyone everywhere should make everyone aware of what the BEST features about them are. Regardless whether you think you're being weird or not, it's a really nice thing to do, and you can change someones perception on themselves massivley, just from one small little compliment.

Also, to anyone that has read this far, treat yourself to a takeaway tonight… After all, it's your body, your choice ;).

Thank you!

Emily xx

{Special thank you to:

@hannahthewlis12

@amyrk02

@meglfirth

@emmaxbrimelow

@riannaalexanderx

@sallybrookx

@lissyloulou

@jayasharma

@rach_wainwright}