10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before 'Freshers Week' / I Started University
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| Telegraph, York St. John University |
If you are reading this, you are most likely intrigued because you are going to uni in the following months. And if so, congratulations! It's a time in your life to escape anything you once knew. To study a course you love which would follow into a career in the future, and to meet new and exciting people. It's especially good for branching out and going outside your comfort zone.
And I can definitely say that ever since I've been at uni, my social skills have massively improved. But I will get into how in my Ten Reasons, as well as a few other things that I wish I had known before my fresher’s week / before I started University:
1:It's NOTHING like
what people make it out to be.
When I started Uni I had this idea in
my head that it'd be amazing. That I'd be out every night and I'd be able to live
off of my maintenance loan, (which I understand may not be a struggle
for some people as I have one of the lowest loans that you can get, and
obviously it depends on your parents' income) but in reality
I massively struggled; and it wasn't what I expected at all.
So, what I would suggest is: don't go to uni convincing yourself that it'll be amazing from the get go, as you will experience stuff that makes you think 'wow! That is what uni is about,' and 'meh, I didn't think I would be doing this at uni.' For example, you might not instantly get on with your flatmates, you might end up switching courses or changing modules because you didn't enjoy it as much, and you might not be out every night drinking because you might just be wayy too tired, which is fine! Just go in with an open mind, with no high expectations and take each day as it comes.
Sometimes it'll be what you expect, definitely! But sometimes it'll be so different you'll think 'this isn't what people said uni would be like?' and it's perfectly fine to think like that as well.
So, what I would suggest is: don't go to uni convincing yourself that it'll be amazing from the get go, as you will experience stuff that makes you think 'wow! That is what uni is about,' and 'meh, I didn't think I would be doing this at uni.' For example, you might not instantly get on with your flatmates, you might end up switching courses or changing modules because you didn't enjoy it as much, and you might not be out every night drinking because you might just be wayy too tired, which is fine! Just go in with an open mind, with no high expectations and take each day as it comes.
Sometimes it'll be what you expect, definitely! But sometimes it'll be so different you'll think 'this isn't what people said uni would be like?' and it's perfectly fine to think like that as well.
2: Try and save as much money as
you can before you move in.
This is one of the things that I wish I
thought more seriously about before moving in, because obviously, I was
poor. I felt poor, I knew I was poor, and there was nothing I could do about it
other than get a part-time job (which I highly recommend by the way!)
But I knew a lot of people that saved up some spare money before they went to uni, and I literally used to say to them, ‘why are you doing that for?’ Oh, naïve little Emily. If only you knew.
Even if you put away £30 away from your wage every month before you started, it is so much better than going with nothing and just relying on your maintenance loan for everything! It’ll slowly run out just before Christmas, and obviously even quicker if you buy Christmas presents from your loan because you haven't got a wage coming in. So just try and have a little bit of money before you go, even if it isn’t a lot.
But I knew a lot of people that saved up some spare money before they went to uni, and I literally used to say to them, ‘why are you doing that for?’ Oh, naïve little Emily. If only you knew.
Even if you put away £30 away from your wage every month before you started, it is so much better than going with nothing and just relying on your maintenance loan for everything! It’ll slowly run out just before Christmas, and obviously even quicker if you buy Christmas presents from your loan because you haven't got a wage coming in. So just try and have a little bit of money before you go, even if it isn’t a lot.
3: YOU DON’T NEED A TV LICENSE!
The biggest scam in the book is a TV
license, trust me on this. Unless you are a dedicated gamer, who enjoys playing
video games and watching live TV, you don’t need a TV, or a license to go with
it. I brought a TV with me thinking I’d be able to play DVD’S, which you can, but
then eventually came to realise that I really don’t have the time nor the interest as I was too busy with uni work and my part-time job.
Don’t buy a TV license, and if you do, you need one per person and not per flat. And if you get letters saying that someone will be coming to check if you have a TV license, just go online and declare you don’t need one and ignore any further letters. They tend to target newly moved in students to scare them into buying a TV license even if you aren’t watching TV (such as watching catch up and Netflix on your laptop.) Save your money guys, that’s my advice for that one. (But if you do enjoy watching The Great British Bake off every year, maybe consider getting one. But only for that reason.)
Don’t buy a TV license, and if you do, you need one per person and not per flat. And if you get letters saying that someone will be coming to check if you have a TV license, just go online and declare you don’t need one and ignore any further letters. They tend to target newly moved in students to scare them into buying a TV license even if you aren’t watching TV (such as watching catch up and Netflix on your laptop.) Save your money guys, that’s my advice for that one. (But if you do enjoy watching The Great British Bake off every year, maybe consider getting one. But only for that reason.)
4: Learn to cook a few recipes before
you move in.
Now, unless you genuinely like cooking
and food and were brought up around a family that cooked quite a lot at home
like I did, you won’t have a problem with this. I was just thankful that before
I moved into my accommodation, I at least knew how to make an exceptionally good lasagna from
my past lessons of food tech in high school, as well as watching my mum cook
when I was bored. But if you don’t know how to make toast, boil pasta, or cook
chicken – you will struggle. So, I just recommend cooking a few things at home
before you’re thrown in the deep end in a kitchen that you really don’t know how or what to cook in. Start off easy with pasta bakes and stir fry, and eventually you’ll
be able to cook in bigger batches for those weekly flat meals like fajita’s; even Sunday dinners if you’re feeling adventurous! (I also recommend cheap student recipe books - lifesaver.)
5: Not every friend you meet in first year will be your friend for life.
A lot of people that I am currently friends with at the moment have had this issue with friendships from first year. Unfortunately, the majority of the time, your friends that you meet in first year and sometimes go on to live with into second year don't stay your friends. This could be due to a number of reasons, such as just drifting from each other, not spending as much time with them as you did in first year (maybe because of the increasing work load in second year), or just realising that you've outgrown them.
But one of the main reasons as to why this could happen is due to how your friendships will change and develop going into second year. You tend to stick to your course friends a lot more in second year opposed to the friends you made in freshers in your first year. This is why I'm good friends with a lot of people from my course, which is really good for when I'm stuck on an assignment and need some helpful advice. Don't take it as a bad thing; you can't be friends forever! And it's a very common thing to happen.
6: Do NOT sleep with your flatmates
This is the only step in this blog post that I haven't been a part of, due to the fact that I had a boyfriend in my first year, so obviously I didn't sleep with my flatmates (and our flat consisted of 2 girls, 1 Canadian boy that stayed in his room and eventually 2 other boys who were also recluses', so, it was quite difficult even if I did.) But there's a reason why people say don't have a sexual relationship with the people in your flat, and it's because you are still living with them at the end of the day. If something bad was to come out of it, you still have to live with them, and can't escape any awkward conversations or arguments as you will obviously keep bumping into them. So, I would avoid sleeping with you flatmates as much as possible. (Unless it's with a lad from the flat next door. And if so, go crazy.)
6: Say YES to everything.
Push yourself out of your comfort circle and say yes to things more often! I regret not doing this in my first year, because if I did, I probably would've had a better experience. I didn't go out a lot during my freshers week as I just bonded with the girls in my flat, but I wish I had said yes to invitations from other flats and/or events. Even if its something you've never experienced before, saying yes will open yourself up more to the situation and prepare you for whatever is ahead. Obviously, if it's something you're uncomfortable with, like drugs or sex or anything like that, don't say yes unless you're 100% certain. You're allowed to be reckless in your first year, but please keep safe and look after yourself in the process.
7: You will meet the most disgusting, dirty and unhygienic people you have ever met in your life.
I've been brought up in a home that emphasizes hygiene and cleaning up after yourself. The amount of times I've made a sandwich and my mum would shout at me for it so I HAD to clean it up to stop her from ranting was ridiculous. In uni, especially if you share a kitchen, you are bound to meet some of the most disgusting human beings you have ever met.
One time, our flat mate once emptied his entire bin (from his room) into the KITCHEN bin. It was filled with earbuds lathered in earwax, yogurt pots from three-five days ago stinking up the kitchen, and then had the audacity to leave potatoes rotting in our sink 3 months after he left our flat causing potato flies to nest in our kitchen. THATS the kind of people you will be living with, and my advice is either to just avoid, or consult. It may be a bit scary standing your ground and saying how disgusting it is to live in a flat like that, but at the end of the day, you're living there too.
And obviously, it's okay if you've got a lecture at 10 and you've only just finished eating your breakfast at twenty-to, so you have to leave your plates in the sink to wash up later. That's fine! That can be understood. But leaving them for days afterwards unwashed is just not something you or your flatmates would want to live with. So just be careful with hygiene and the cleanliness of the flat, especially in the kitchen. (You can also get fined for having a dirty kitchen once you move out of halls, so it's just smart to keep it as clean as you possibly can.)
8: Missing one or two lectures won't kill you.
The amount of times I used to drag myself out of bed when I was feeling low just so my attendance wouldn't go down to attend a 1 hour lecture was just ridiculous. At the end of the day its something you can look at at home, in your own time, on the laptop. If you don't feel like going, because you feel unwell or unhappy, don't go! It's not worth making yourself feel worse just for the satisfaction that you haven't dropped below the 80% attendance mark. Attendance matters, but so does your physical and mental health.
9: A part-time job isn't necessary, but is helpful.
If I hadn't got a part-time job working as a waitress in a hotel, I wouldn't have been able to afford birthday presents, pay off £300 MOT repairs, and go on a holiday with my boyfriend for 10 days of relaxation. It was the worst thing having to go after a full day of lectures and seminars, but seeing the paycheck at the end of it was worth it. It might be a killer getting a job, especially during your first year of uni where you're expecting it to be the best year of your life, but you can't live off a loan every 6 months that also contributes towards your accommodation fees. Getting a part-time job will be annoying, but it will definitely help fund a very expensive social life during university.
10: Look after yourself.
Uni is one of the best things you could ever experience in your life, but it's also the loneliest. You're surrounded by people in your flat, flats next door, flats on the same floor, filled with 5-6 people, but you still feel like the loneliest person in the world. I wish I had opened up to my friends more during my first year of uni, as it was a very lonely and mentally depressing place for me. My room was the biggest room in the flat, but it somehow felt suffocating and claustrophobic, no matter how big it was.
So my #1 piece of advice to anyone going to uni and staying in halls is to reach out to people, even if you don't want to, because at the end of the day you don't know if people are feeling the same way you are; and could ultimately help you from feeling like you're in a dark, lonely and isolated place. Take care of yourself and always put yourself first, even if it means missing out on a lecture, seminar, or a night out with your friends.
To the people going to university in September and are first year freshers, (even if COVID-19 ruins your chance of a full week of freshers celebrations) make sure to take care of yourself, look out for your friends and take the things I listed above into consideration. It might be annoying putting away money from your wage now to spend in September, or looking for part-time jobs in the city you're moving to, but it'll make your experience a lot, lot better. Trust me :)
Thank you for reading!
E.
5: Not every friend you meet in first year will be your friend for life.
A lot of people that I am currently friends with at the moment have had this issue with friendships from first year. Unfortunately, the majority of the time, your friends that you meet in first year and sometimes go on to live with into second year don't stay your friends. This could be due to a number of reasons, such as just drifting from each other, not spending as much time with them as you did in first year (maybe because of the increasing work load in second year), or just realising that you've outgrown them.
But one of the main reasons as to why this could happen is due to how your friendships will change and develop going into second year. You tend to stick to your course friends a lot more in second year opposed to the friends you made in freshers in your first year. This is why I'm good friends with a lot of people from my course, which is really good for when I'm stuck on an assignment and need some helpful advice. Don't take it as a bad thing; you can't be friends forever! And it's a very common thing to happen.
6: Do NOT sleep with your flatmates
This is the only step in this blog post that I haven't been a part of, due to the fact that I had a boyfriend in my first year, so obviously I didn't sleep with my flatmates (and our flat consisted of 2 girls, 1 Canadian boy that stayed in his room and eventually 2 other boys who were also recluses', so, it was quite difficult even if I did.) But there's a reason why people say don't have a sexual relationship with the people in your flat, and it's because you are still living with them at the end of the day. If something bad was to come out of it, you still have to live with them, and can't escape any awkward conversations or arguments as you will obviously keep bumping into them. So, I would avoid sleeping with you flatmates as much as possible. (Unless it's with a lad from the flat next door. And if so, go crazy.)
6: Say YES to everything.
Push yourself out of your comfort circle and say yes to things more often! I regret not doing this in my first year, because if I did, I probably would've had a better experience. I didn't go out a lot during my freshers week as I just bonded with the girls in my flat, but I wish I had said yes to invitations from other flats and/or events. Even if its something you've never experienced before, saying yes will open yourself up more to the situation and prepare you for whatever is ahead. Obviously, if it's something you're uncomfortable with, like drugs or sex or anything like that, don't say yes unless you're 100% certain. You're allowed to be reckless in your first year, but please keep safe and look after yourself in the process.
7: You will meet the most disgusting, dirty and unhygienic people you have ever met in your life.
I've been brought up in a home that emphasizes hygiene and cleaning up after yourself. The amount of times I've made a sandwich and my mum would shout at me for it so I HAD to clean it up to stop her from ranting was ridiculous. In uni, especially if you share a kitchen, you are bound to meet some of the most disgusting human beings you have ever met.
One time, our flat mate once emptied his entire bin (from his room) into the KITCHEN bin. It was filled with earbuds lathered in earwax, yogurt pots from three-five days ago stinking up the kitchen, and then had the audacity to leave potatoes rotting in our sink 3 months after he left our flat causing potato flies to nest in our kitchen. THATS the kind of people you will be living with, and my advice is either to just avoid, or consult. It may be a bit scary standing your ground and saying how disgusting it is to live in a flat like that, but at the end of the day, you're living there too.
And obviously, it's okay if you've got a lecture at 10 and you've only just finished eating your breakfast at twenty-to, so you have to leave your plates in the sink to wash up later. That's fine! That can be understood. But leaving them for days afterwards unwashed is just not something you or your flatmates would want to live with. So just be careful with hygiene and the cleanliness of the flat, especially in the kitchen. (You can also get fined for having a dirty kitchen once you move out of halls, so it's just smart to keep it as clean as you possibly can.)
8: Missing one or two lectures won't kill you.
The amount of times I used to drag myself out of bed when I was feeling low just so my attendance wouldn't go down to attend a 1 hour lecture was just ridiculous. At the end of the day its something you can look at at home, in your own time, on the laptop. If you don't feel like going, because you feel unwell or unhappy, don't go! It's not worth making yourself feel worse just for the satisfaction that you haven't dropped below the 80% attendance mark. Attendance matters, but so does your physical and mental health.
9: A part-time job isn't necessary, but is helpful.
If I hadn't got a part-time job working as a waitress in a hotel, I wouldn't have been able to afford birthday presents, pay off £300 MOT repairs, and go on a holiday with my boyfriend for 10 days of relaxation. It was the worst thing having to go after a full day of lectures and seminars, but seeing the paycheck at the end of it was worth it. It might be a killer getting a job, especially during your first year of uni where you're expecting it to be the best year of your life, but you can't live off a loan every 6 months that also contributes towards your accommodation fees. Getting a part-time job will be annoying, but it will definitely help fund a very expensive social life during university.
10: Look after yourself.
Uni is one of the best things you could ever experience in your life, but it's also the loneliest. You're surrounded by people in your flat, flats next door, flats on the same floor, filled with 5-6 people, but you still feel like the loneliest person in the world. I wish I had opened up to my friends more during my first year of uni, as it was a very lonely and mentally depressing place for me. My room was the biggest room in the flat, but it somehow felt suffocating and claustrophobic, no matter how big it was.
So my #1 piece of advice to anyone going to uni and staying in halls is to reach out to people, even if you don't want to, because at the end of the day you don't know if people are feeling the same way you are; and could ultimately help you from feeling like you're in a dark, lonely and isolated place. Take care of yourself and always put yourself first, even if it means missing out on a lecture, seminar, or a night out with your friends.
To the people going to university in September and are first year freshers, (even if COVID-19 ruins your chance of a full week of freshers celebrations) make sure to take care of yourself, look out for your friends and take the things I listed above into consideration. It might be annoying putting away money from your wage now to spend in September, or looking for part-time jobs in the city you're moving to, but it'll make your experience a lot, lot better. Trust me :)
Thank you for reading!
E.
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